Noisy Polaroid Faces

Summer has come to an end.

There were about 1000 different activities I had planned to do for this summer, but in the blink of an eye it has come and gone, leaving me with about 900 still left pending, and viable are not as many as I would have liked.

As of a few weeks ago, I have been living in Canada for over 9 years. That is 9 years living in this island first as a student and then as a worker within the videogame industry that I initially moved here to join. As a student I spent my summers doing literally nothing and enjoying life for the most part, as school was not something I included as part of my summer activities in the entire time I was in University. Once I started working though, particularly in an industry where the greatest bulk of work happens (or happened) during summer, this changed drastically. Summer was my time to make as much money as possible and the rest of the year was a little bit more lethargic when it came to working — and thus creativity roamed free during those times.

Now that I have a more stable job and more income at hand, I am finding myself in the awkward wrong end of the spectrum that I previously desired. Whereas before I either did not have time or money, now I have a balance of both — and yet I am always failing at making use of my time effectively. That is, doing any of the 900 remaining tasks that I have for the summer or even taking care of some more banal responsibilities in my life.

I am great at what I do at work. That, however, does not translate as well as I wish it did to my time off. What on one side is a drive to get every single task done and to make sure to be there for everyone, on the other side is not nearly as well taken care of and definitely not my main priority besides resting or otherwise not doing much.

During this long labour day weekend it really hit me that there is a big discrepancy between how people like myself perform at work versus in their own time. I give work my all, whereas my very own life gets the scraps or whatever I have left in me after work. This should not be the case… or should it? That is when I finally realized: At some point I convinced myself that I needed to run at the speed of light whenever I was working in order to be successful, and turned my personal life into nothing but a tool to compensate for all that extreme speed and efforts poured in the other side. There has to be a balance to everything.

This week I am going to try to do things a little bit differently. There is no need for me to go at a neck breaking pace at work anymore, as there are more people like myself who can alleviate my very own workload. At home however, maybe it is time to be a little bit more active than usual.

Let’s see how it goes. Have you ever been in a similar situation?

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