An explosion of imagination. A single moment that changed my life forever, and a moment in my existence I will never forget. I must have been 6 or 7 years of age, and the thing I remember the most was being very fluid in everything that constituted my life: I liked the same music my friends liked, watched the same TV shows, and for the most part acted like other kids my age.
And much like a cheap infomercial about the dangers of rock, dressing in black, and all things Satan, I exposed myself to 72 minutes of Industrial Rock and Metal in a videogame… and that changed me forever.
I did not stop being the child that I was — listening to the same pop everyone else listened to, or singing the same silly tunes from children’s shows that my friends and classmates listened to. There were some little differences to my experience at that age: My classmates and friends were listening to Savage Garden as they overwhelmed the charts at the time, meanwhile I obsessed over bands such as KMFDM or Fear Factory.
That early exposure to something more intense than what I had heard in the past evolved into an unprecedented love for all things alternative, heavier than usual, and just plain weird. As a teenager I made it my life’s goal to listen to heavier and meaner music every day that went by, and as I turned 18 I had scratched the surface of practically every alternative sub-genre of music out there.
Also when I was 18 I decided to start reviewing albums with the one and only goal of getting to know more music: I would obtain 4 or 5 brand new albums every week and review them for the sake of doing so before anyone else out there, and for a good amount of time I was really good at it. Then I got a full time job, and started freelancing for breadcrumbs forever.
In many ways getting a job at this point in my life was the best decision I had made, yet unfortunately I managed to allow my new responsibilities to kill my drive to look for more music, and my creative output for the greater part was also destroyed (I used to make music! horrible in nature, but 100% in every conceivable way). I became an efficient version of who I used to be, minus the part where I did some things for myself outside of work.
It has been 6 years since that summer where I decided I had had enough of small jobs here and there and generally having not much to do every day. I recently allowed myself to take a step back and not let myself be overwhelmed, overloaded, and overtaken by my job — a job that I love and enjoy doing, but a job that I very often love more than I should. This… did not give me that creativity and will to listen, review, and create music. It did not give me any super powers when it came to sitting down and being productive in my own free time.
What it gave me, however, was enough peace of mind to think about what I really consider to be important in my life, and to think of all the things I want to do and never did, and all the things I want to do and am about to do with my life.
More important than taking a step back, however, was diving back into action in order to not fall behind in the job that I love. Now that I do what I love and I know what I want though, I see no reason why I would forsaken those few other activities I loved doing before my main objective was to be as good at my job as I could possibly be.
Now, now. This is about day 5 or so of this newly found inspiration, so let’s see how it goes.