Pushing and Going Forward

Today was a a day where many struggles came to an end. A struggle with myself and what I truly enjoy in life. A struggle with labor and the work that had to be done. A struggle with the weather, and the end of a long week.

As a kid, I was very afraid of everything. Being an only child who did not have any friends around the block, most of my days were spent inside my grandmother’s house lost in my own thoughts or imagining where I would be in a day, week, year, or maybe even a few decades into the future. I was a frightful child, and easily gave up on anything that caused me any amount of distress.

This remained basically the same for the greater part of my adolescence and the earlier part of my adulthood. I was a self-labeled hedonist and I thrived in my constant desire for not partaking in activities or situations I did not want to be a part of. Oddly enough, instead of becoming a happier individual due to the lack of conflict, I became severely depressed due to the lack of challenges in my life.

What eventually happened is that I became sick of everything, and decided to strip myself to the nerve (figuratively) so I would be as vulnerable and exposed as I possibly could be. I started to push myself into situations that I knew were good for me but that I disliked, and as I overcame one I then looked for 2 more. Then 3 and so on.

After a few years I have become someone who just wants to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I like challenges and I want to see them through no matter what, and I have become one who pushes forward no matter what happens and just accept any hardships that come my way.

I am not sure if this is the best path to walk as a person, but it is a path that has led me to a world of happiness: A path where no matter what comes my way I deal with, and a path where dealing with problems and situations as they come leaves me satisfied or relieved in one way or another.

The future is not the clearest at the moment, though I shall keep pushing forward so it can be as best as it can be.

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